An Open Letter to the Gum Chewer

Dear Girl-In-My-Training-Class-Incessantly-Popping-Her-Gum, Hi. How are you? Good, I hope. Listen. We need to talk. You're obviously a huge fan of the gum chewing and that's fantastic for you. Really. Super. Great. Whatever. However, when you're in a training class sitting around other people for an entire hour, it would be very much appreciated if you would refrain from chomping said gum and popping it incessantly like a five-year-old child. You're like 50 (!). It's ridiculous for you to carry on this way and it does nothing but annoy me (who had the unfortunate luck of sitting right next to you) and make me want to punch you in the face. Even worse is the fact that you were a complete moron and asked really, really stupid questions (where's the Microsoft Office button? Come on). Perhaps the gum is making you dumb? In the future, please refrain from chewing and popping your gum when around other people. Thankyouverymuch. Your annoyed friend, Pinky Lovejoy