Wednesday, March 31, 2010
So, I had my physical therapy appointment yesterday for my epicondylitis of the elbow and am excited to report that in addition to a myriad of exercises I have to do every day, I get to wear the following items:
Sometimes I'm a complete and total moron. Shocking, I know. When I was in LA last month and we first got to the charity celeb event, I suppose I was a little overzealous in trying to recognize people (hey, you never know who'll walk by). For this reason, I jumped at the chance to get a picture with Jesse Garcia, thinking it was the first time I'd met him. Wrong. Apparently he was the same guy who winked at me after Quincinera premiered at Sundance a million years ago. Now, granted, repeats are fine, but missing a golden opportunity sucks.What am I referring to, you ask? Apparently, while I was getting the duplicate picture with Jesse, Daphne freaking Zuniga walked by me. Daphne Zuniga! The one and only Jo the photographer from the original Melrose Place!!! GAH!!! How did I miss that? Of course I obsessed about it the rest of night (who, me?), but alas, she never came out. Blast! Major picture FAIL.
What do Jesse "Cheater" James, Tiger "Sexter" Woods and Charlie "Crazy" Sheen have in common (aside from their ugly mugs being on the cover of countless tabloids)? All of these idiots have committed heinous acts and then entered "rehab" as though it was some cure-all to being an asshole. Today's top story on People.com (seriously, People, you need to get some actual reporting done....this is not a top news story):Does anyone actually care? The biggest surprise of this entire debacle is that Sandra Bullock married him to begin with. The fact that he hooked up with a bevy of tramps while married isn't shocking, just stupid. I wonder if Jesse's tramps, Tiger's whores, and Charlie's call girls ever over-lapped? I'd like to meet the girl who did them all. Well, not meet her per se....just make fun of her.
Hello and welcome to Thursday's edition of Celebrity Wrap Up.
Lindsay, how many times do I have to tell you? If you keep scowling like that, your face is going to freeze that way. At least I don't have to see the bottom part of this outfit - I'm not in the mood to see your stupid leggings today.So, Jake the Cheeseball and that tramp attended Perez Hilton's birthday bash. Um, what? Who invited these publicity starved losers? The next thing you'll know, one of them will be on Dancing with the Stars. Oh, wait....Billy, honey, I love you, but you do not look mahvelous these days. WTF?!?! Are you OK? Do we need to have a Comic Relief special in your honor? How can we help?While I applaud Molly Ringwald for going with a bold fashion choice and pairing a purple gown with her bright red hair, I worry that it's a tragedy waiting to happen. How many times did she trip? Is that why she was so awkward and grumpy during the tribue to John Hughes at the Oscars?I'm fairly certain that when Helena Bonham Carter wants to select a new outfit, she walks into the nearest Thrift Store blindfolded and asks them to point her in the direction of anything with a lot of tulle.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
There's a girl at work right now who's literally wearing a blanket as a scarf. I think the looks she's *trying* (trying being the operative word) for is this: but the blanket is so big I'm afraid she'll tip over. Bless her heart. Speaking of things that drive me crazy, check out the number of family members on this van. It's like a small army. I wish I had some sort of bully stickers I could put over the stick figure people. They would be super mean and make me laugh. That would rule.
I received a welcome surprise yesterday when my super cute friend Steve Love (aka Dr. Love) called to say he was in town and asked me to dinner. I usually only see Steve once a year at Sundance, so it was nice to spend time with him one-on-one. Plus, we went to Happy Sumo and you know that always makes me happy. Good times! :)
Well, duh. Was that even in question? Hello, he conceived his twins by methods other than the "standard" way. I think that in itself answered anyone's questions regarding his sexuality (although why they'd still be asking at that point, I have no idea). I think I'm going to call People magazine and announce that I'm straight. Now there's a newsworthy article. Everyone will be shocked, I tell you. SHOCKED! :)
So, remember a few months ago when I was attempting to lift my 200 pound pink heart concrete table made by Bobby Brady and I thought I'd hurt my arm a little? Flash forward two months later and it's still hurting. As my stupid insurance is changing in two days (curses!), I thought it best to get into the doctor to have it checked out. The diagnosis? Apparently I have epicondylitis of the elbow. Yeah, I know. Whatever. I have to go to physical therapy. What fun is that? Can't they just wave a magic wand and fix it? Oh, no? Drat. The worst part of the doctor's visit was the intern who examined me. Now, I understand they want to please people and try to rate high on customer service or whatever, but there's a line. She literally asked me, "Is there anything else?" at least 3,594 times. I'm not even exaggerating. Finally I said, "Well, I do get a lot of migraines." Her response? "Let's schedule another appointment to discuss those. Is there anything else?" Well, no, lady. There is nothing else because obviously you just want to rape me and make me come back for another co-pay. No, thank you. And if you ask me if I need anything else one more time I'm going to punch you in the face. And, scene.
Hello and welcome to the HOT GUY edition of Celebrity Wrap Up. You're welcome. Bradley Cooper, you are such a dream come true. I love you and your baby blue eyes more than you'll ever know.
Ryan Gosling, you are magnificent. I was thrilled to learn you're just as nice as you are hot. Run away with me.Nice try, Lorenzo Lamas. You hack. Your days of being hot were OBVIOUSLY long ago days gone by. Get off my list.Oh, McDreamy. I'd try to buy your love any day of the week (get it? He was in the movie Can't Buy Me Love). My hats off to you, as well, Matthew Morrison. My heart just skipped a beat.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Michael Hancock played Parker Posey's husband on Best in Show and has been in a bunch of other stuff. We saw him at the charity event we were at and he was nice enough, kinda plain. You'd totally miss him if you didn't know he was famous.
I don't know why this is, but I'm not very optimistic when it comes to my own life. I mean, I can rally if need be, but most of the time, I'm looking at the bad side. What's that about? When it comes to other people, I'm the most Positive Pink you've ever seen. But when it has something to do with me, my mind will automatically think of of the worst possible scenario. In fact, I've given good friends the keys to my place just in case, for some unforeseen reason, I die in my sleep and no one knows or cares and my decaying rotten body is laying there for days on end. Who wants that? I've read The Secret - I should know better, right? Am I bringing bad things upon me, or am I just cursed to always see the negative? How did this start? I suppose being disappointed one, two, or fifty times starts getting to someone. I wish I could be different. It seems like it'd be better to be Positive Pink all the time. Perhaps I'll start slowly and try to see the good in things. I've got to start somewhere, right? :)
Hello and welcome to Tuesday's edition of Celebrity Wrap Up. Oh, no. Another day, another terrible design of a leather dress. Pockets? Come on.
What's this? Jonah Hill is capable of taking a picture where his eyes aren't closed and he's smiling? Wow. Miracles never cease.I think Kanye's look says it all, "Dude, this bitch be crazy. Didn't they wear that on Braveheart?"The Jonai may wear as many pairs of sunglasses as they'd like, but it's still not going to make them cool.
Nice posture. Oh, and once again people, tulle is NOT your friend. Despite popular opinion, you CAN see through it, even if it has flowers on it.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Paul Johansson plays the dad on One Tree Hill, but I remember when he used to be on the original Beverly Hills 90210. It was a sad day when he moved from teenager to the dad role. Makes me feel about 100. Still, he's adorable as can be. We met him at the charity event and he was a little loopy, but incredibly nice.