Friday, September 11, 2009

Fair Weather Friends

Warning: Possible rant about to happen. Just warning you in advance. Last night I spoke to my friend Idiot (name being withheld to protect the stupid) who basically said, in an incredibly condescending tone, that she felt sorry for me because I'm so sad all the time and she's now decided to become detached from me. She's done caring, now she'll just watch from afar. Really? This coming from the person whose made the worst choices I've ever seen in my life (no judgement, just an observation) and I've always stood by her, even when it was hard to watch. I suppose the reason it's bothering me so much is that this is the third good friend in the past year who has basically written me off and it's starting to piss me off. My BFF hasn't spoken to me in over a year. I miss him every single day and still am completely perplexed by his disappearance. My other friend, DK, who I used to talk to for hours at least once a week, called me a few months ago immediately after The Break-Up and, more specifically, five minutes after AFMF hung up and yelled at me, so, yeah, I was a little fragile at that moment in time. She pretty much said I was weak and stupid for not being able to get over it (not that she can't express her opinion, but it really wasn't what I needed at the time) and hasn't spoken to me since. WTF?!? Seriously. I pride myself on being a good and loyal friend and have maintained most of my friendships for long periods of time (many from childhood and Junior High). Yes, I realize it's been a challenging time for me and perhaps it's hard to watch. But don't bail. Don't judge me. Don't decide you're not cut out to be my friend after all. That's juvenile and small. I don't get it. I'm so mad. I wish I could write people off and not care that they're like that, but I can't. I'm a sensitive, emotional, (cry) baby and it hurts my heart when people leave, especially three people who've been so important in my life. I don't really know what was meant by venting today, I just needed to get it out. Thanks for listening.

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