Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Another One Bites The Dust

While I realize I'm not the slightest bit ready for any sort of relationship (and, yet, still launched headfirst into my whatever with M), the demise of my latest foray with M last night has left me pretty upset. Of course, it's most likely due to the fact that AFMF isn't really a distant memory (especially since we've been talking lately - another not-so-smart-move on my part), but M was pretty freaking rude. Stupid boy. I give up. Seriously, this is ridiculous. Why do I waste all my time and effort on idiots who don't appreciate anything? I know, I know, I keep saying I'm done and on a "mancation" and need to take time for me. And that's all true. But, as we covered the other day, I get lonely and sometimes it's better to be with someone rather than no one. However, M really wasn't nice. I haven't covered everything that happened, nor will I in this forum, but it wasn't good. I feel really stupid. I don't know why I always try to see the best in people and overlook some glaring red warning signs that say RUN FAR AWAY. Part of me wishes I was really hard and bitter with a fortress around my heart. That would rule. At least I wouldn't be such a big, sensitive, crybaby all the time. Still, I'd rather be able to find the good in people....I don't know....The nicest thing that happened last night was this text from Neverending Boyfriend. While our trip to Reno made me realize that we're not meant to be together romantically, he's still one of my best friends and has always been there for me through all my Losers on Parade. M was really mean (as he couldn't think of one nice thing to say about me or even explain why he even wanted to spend time with me...always lovely to hear at the demise of a relationship after spending so much time together), so I was needing to hear something nice from a more reliable source. That's enough of my rant today. M = Fail. Boys suck. The end.

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