Hi. We've never actually met (yet), but I wanted to let you know that I'm your biggest fan. Well, maybe not your BIGGEST fan, but I'm very committed to enjoying your fantastic voice. In fact, when I was in college I performed a sign language song to "Forever and Ever, Amen." How is that for devotion? Sadly, I only got a C, but no matter. My teacher was just dumb and didn't recognize my brilliant talent.
Anyway. Let's talk about your concert in Wendover next weekend. Somehow they're saying it's sold out. How could this be? I mean, I'm not surprised, as obviously you're a huge star that anyone would love to see. But, I mean, how is there not one or two little tickets remaining for me, your biggest (or almost biggest) fan? It doesn't seem right.
So, I propose this: How about having me and my friend as your special guests backstage? We can hang out, chat, sing songs, and maybe have a campfire and roast s'mores. Sound good? Great. Have your people call my people and we'll set it up.
Thanks so much, R. I look forward to seeing you soon.
Love, kisses, and eternal respect,