Sunday, October 19, 2008
Celebrity Wrap Up, Sunday Edition
Hello and welcome to today's edition of Celebrity Wrap Up. Let's get to it. I'm not going to sugarcoat this in any way: My hatred for Tom Cruise is deep and true. That being said, even if this wasn't TC, if I was walking by on the sidewalk I'd call the authorities stat to report Chester the Molester. Even Suri looks annoyed by his overt displays of affection. I think Kate Bosworth is beautiful, except for her wonky two-colored eyes which freak me out. Is that normal? Christina Aguilera is such a chameleon - sometimes she can look OK (even quite lovely), but most of the time, she looks hideous and mainly relies on her, um, assets, to distract us from her less-than-stunning face. What's with the pout? Maybe she's just umcomfortable - she does have two things trying to escape from her shirt. I love that Dakota Fanning is a cheerleader. It seems like such a normal thing to be for a child superstar like herself. One question: Doesn't it seem like she grew up overnight? I swear she was five years old last week.And now for today's entry into the Cutest Celebrity Baby contest, I give you Violet Affleck. She's such a Jennifer Garner mini-me it kills me.By her hand motions, it looks like Mirana Kerr is saying, "What? So my hat's a wee bit ridiculous? So, what? I'm a Victoria's Secret Angel! I can get away with it!" Actually, sweetie, you can't. Is that a hook on the top? Makes me want to put a hot dog on it or something.Jessica, I realize you're performing at a State Fair (one word: OUCH), but is it necessary to white trash your outfit even more by wearing a Nascar t-shirt? Come on. Have some class. Oh, wait. Sorry. Forgot who we were talking about.