Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Unhappy Birthday to You

In addition to it being my TLF Ricky Schroder’s birthday today, it’s also my stupid idiotic ex boyfriend, M’s birthday today. I’d like to pretend like I didn’t notice or care about it, but that would be lie. Despite hiding his dumb face on FB so that I didn’t have to see his status updates or pictures of That Girl he left me for, I received the requisite FB birthday reminder about him today….which may or may not have led me to peek at his page for the first time since I saw That Girl’s face on there. First thing I see? “Happy birthday. I love you.” (from That Girl, of course). *Groan. *Why do I do this to myself? Why do I care? Why can’t I just walk away and never look back? I know it wasn’t personal. I know there isn’t some deficiency in me that led to his replacing me with an ugly troll (did I just say that out loud?). I know it was just a bad case of really poor timing and even if it’d been perfect timing, he was never going to be the person who walked next to me for life. He just wasn’t. No question about it. The fact that we were together at all is mind-blowing (but, as we all know, he was just a rebound I needed to move on from AFMF). I don’t give a crap about him, but I suppose my feel-bads are still rather tender at the things he said to me at The End. He was mean, cruel, condescending, and rude. Of course, he wasn’t much better when we were together, but he was particularly evil at The End. I did so much for him, tried so hard, and was rewarded with what? A slap in the face? Bruises to my body and my ego? I give up. To show my total indifference, I didn’t even post a happy birthday greeting on his FB wall. Yeah, that’ll show him how tough I am. That’ll teach him!

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