Thursday, September 11, 2008

An Open Letter to Keanu Reeves

Dear Keanu (or do you prefer Neo?),
We get it. You triple love your black jacket and never want to be without it. I can understand thinking a dinner jacket might jazz up a plain old t-shirt once in awhile, but come on. It's 2008 and you've been rocking that look for like, oh, say, 20 years now. Let's mix it up a bit. I'm sure you think it's whimsical and edgy, but you'd be wrong. It's not. It's skeevy, pervy, and all around boring. Luckily, you're still a good looking guy and I certainly wouldn't kick you out of bed for spilling crumbs on the sheets. However, if you tried to come to bed wearing that freaking black dinner jacket, I'd hand you some walking papers stat (oh, who am I kidding? It's Keanu Reeves!!! He could Point Break anything he wanted. Wait...erm....what??).
While you're at it, maybe wash your hair. I'm just saying.
Pinky Lovejoy

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