Dear Mary J. Blige: It was certainly nice of you to leave the wedding where you were apparently Mother of the Bride. Glad your dress could be interchangeable like that.Dear Kate Hudson: You know, most of the time I think you're a pretty girl. So, why are you trying to look yuch? Also, your ears are your worst feature. Try not to accentuate those.Dear Jennifer Lopez: Thank you for yet another opportunity for me to say CHA CHA CHA.Dear Demi Lovato: It really isn't necessary to match your dress to your translucent skin. I'm just saying.