Sunday, October 15, 2017

Today's Deep Thought

Unless you've been living under a rock, the biggest news stories this week were about the courageous women who've come forth and shared their horrible stories about Harvey Weinstein's abuse of power over the years. While I never had a bad experience with him, my heart breaks for the legions of women who have been affected, been abused, been hurt, and have had their careers and their reputations damaged. Bravo to them for finally speaking out and being heard.  
One of the things I've learned by reading so many heartbreaking stories is that it never helps anyone to remain silent. Especially when there are countless others out there who could be edified in knowing they're not alone. I believe I've shared this story before, so I apologize if you've already heard it, but I rarely, if ever, talk about it. Back in 1990, when I was 17, I was date raped by a guy on our first (and last) date. At the time I was quiet, remorseful, and grief stricken. This person not only took advantage of me, but he took my virginity. I felt responsible. I felt stupid. And I felt like I led him on. But I did say no and he didn't stop. It's been almost 27 years and every time the anniversary of that date comes around (I call it my rape-iversary - I know, it's terrible), I'm still left with the same raw feelings of guilt and shame. Family members have told me to move on, it's in the past, and made me feel like I was being silly to even bring it up again. While I'm sure they're not doing it out of malice, unfortunately, it's not that easy. It doesn't just go away. A precious part of me was stolen that day and I'll never, ever get it back. I wish I could. I wish I could wipe my hands clean and never look back. But, I survived. I lived. I found love. I've had a wonderful life despite one horrendous night in December 1990. These brave women have shown me that it doesn't help to hide your story and I applaud them for that. Thank you for listening.

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