An Open Letter to Adam Sandler

Dear Douchebag, I just wanted to let you know how disappointed I was to see you, once again, stand up your patiently waiting fans at a a talk show the other night. You might not have seen this because you couldn't be bothered to give us the time of day, but one of the fans was actually a guy in a WHEELCHAIR. Yeah, that's right. A wheelchair. Waiting. In the cold. For you. Still feeling like a big guy?


Personally, I'd driven in from Utah that morning specifically to finally get my picture with you, as you stiffed the last time you were on the show and I've never seen you since. I've been a longtime and loyal fan - back to the days when you were merely Opera Man or The Hurlihy Boy on SNL. I don't know why you couldn't come over for ten fans, but shame on you. Apparently I will no longer be supporting your career. Peace out. Unsincerely your ex-fan, Pinky Lovejoy P.S. This will in no way take away from my true love for your BFF, David Spade. My love for him will last a lifetime.