Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Things I Don't Understand
I'd like to introduce a new feature on Thinking Pink called Things I Don't Understand. And now without any further adieu, I present a few mysteries in the mind of Pink:
1) Why is it still snowing? It's April. It's almost May. It would be nice if the weather picked a side and stayed there already. It's really starting to piss me off.
2) Why do we always want what we don't have? When I was married, I wanted to be single and now that I've been single for a long time, I'd prefer to be married. Why can't I just be happy and enjoy whichever stage of life I'm in at the time? There's good and bad in everything - I just want to find a way to be satisfied.
3) How on earth does anyone find this Madea character funny? Last night I watched my first Madea movie and it was painful to say the least. I mean, wasn't this covered already in Big Momma's House? And Madea is even more annoying. Plus, why do all of Tyler Perry's movies start with "Tyler Perry's Madea" or "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?" Is he really that in love with himself? I mean, you don't hear the great ones flashing their names around. I've never seen "Steven Spielberg's E.T." or "James Cameron's Titanic." What gives?
4) Just how much money has Arby's invested in running this commercial every thirty seconds? I swear it comes on twice during any commercial break on any channel. I want to punch this guy in the face because I'm so sick of looking at him.
5) Speaking of commercials, where oh where has my freecreditreport.com guy gone? I miss him.
1) Why is it still snowing? It's April. It's almost May. It would be nice if the weather picked a side and stayed there already. It's really starting to piss me off.
2) Why do we always want what we don't have? When I was married, I wanted to be single and now that I've been single for a long time, I'd prefer to be married. Why can't I just be happy and enjoy whichever stage of life I'm in at the time? There's good and bad in everything - I just want to find a way to be satisfied.
3) How on earth does anyone find this Madea character funny? Last night I watched my first Madea movie and it was painful to say the least. I mean, wasn't this covered already in Big Momma's House? And Madea is even more annoying. Plus, why do all of Tyler Perry's movies start with "Tyler Perry's Madea" or "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?" Is he really that in love with himself? I mean, you don't hear the great ones flashing their names around. I've never seen "Steven Spielberg's E.T." or "James Cameron's Titanic." What gives?4) Just how much money has Arby's invested in running this commercial every thirty seconds? I swear it comes on twice during any commercial break on any channel. I want to punch this guy in the face because I'm so sick of looking at him.5) Speaking of commercials, where oh where has my freecreditreport.com guy gone? I miss him.Pinky's Fandance - Sue Sylvester Rules
Can I just say how extremely happy I am to have gotten a picture with Jane Lynch (aka the amazing Sue Sylvester) last year at Sundance before Glee took off? 
At the time, she could walk down the street without too much fanfare. Now, I'm guessing that's a totally different story, as her character on Glee is legendary.
At the time, she could walk down the street without too much fanfare. Now, I'm guessing that's a totally different story, as her character on Glee is legendary.
R.I.P. Brendan Fraser's Career
It is with great sadness that I pronounce Brendan Fraser's career officially dead. In remembrance, let's look back at his rise and fall:
When you look at the cast from School Ties, it's like a dream cast of all the A-listers. Well, mostly. This was a great film with a stellar cast which went on to do many award winning projects.
I can't lie - I kind of loved Encino Man. Don't judge me. Of course, it didn't hurt that Pauly Shore and Sean Astin were also in it. How could that go wrong? Mindless, sure, but still fun.
My favorite Brendan Fraser movie by far was Blast from the Past. What a sweet little film. And who could forget the scene when he was tearing it up on the dance floor? Loved it.
Seemingly unstoppable, Brendan Fraser followed the Mummy movies with a role in the Academy Award winning film, Crash.
Sadly, while he did have a few good films, most of his credits include crap like these. First on the list? The looney tunes movie. He's starring with cartoon characters. Need I say more?
The next tragedy was Monkeybone, where his co-star was an animated evil monkey. Yeah, you heard me right.
Of course, it's hard to say which was worse - Monkeybone or the unwatchable Bedazzled with Elizabeth Hurley. Gah. This was painful. Brendan's face above perfectly describes how I felt about that movie.
When you look at the cast from School Ties, it's like a dream cast of all the A-listers. Well, mostly. This was a great film with a stellar cast which went on to do many award winning projects.
I can't lie - I kind of loved Encino Man. Don't judge me. Of course, it didn't hurt that Pauly Shore and Sean Astin were also in it. How could that go wrong? Mindless, sure, but still fun.My favorite Brendan Fraser movie by far was Blast from the Past. What a sweet little film. And who could forget the scene when he was tearing it up on the dance floor? Loved it.The Mummy movies were what really put Brendan on the map. True, they may have lingered on too long, but he was dreamy as an action hero.
Seemingly unstoppable, Brendan Fraser followed the Mummy movies with a role in the Academy Award winning film, Crash.Sadly, while he did have a few good films, most of his credits include crap like these. First on the list? The looney tunes movie. He's starring with cartoon characters. Need I say more?The next tragedy was Monkeybone, where his co-star was an animated evil monkey. Yeah, you heard me right.Of course, it's hard to say which was worse - Monkeybone or the unwatchable Bedazzled with Elizabeth Hurley. Gah. This was painful. Brendan's face above perfectly describes how I felt about that movie. Now, George of the Jungle had good and bad because a shirtless, ripped Brendan = bliss. However, the storyline left a lot to be desired. It's no wonder he never starred in any of the sequels. Even he knew it sucked.
The final nail in Brendan's coffin is the upcoming movie Furry Vengeance where his co-stars are a bunch of animals. Every single time I see the horrid trailer for it on TV I hang my head and take a moment of silence for Brendan's now deceased career. R.I.P. Brendan. You'll be missed.
Phoenix the Supermodel
While I realize I'm a *wee* bit biased, how adorable is Little Miss Phoenix in her school pictures? Yes, she did buy the outfit on her own (hair accessory included).
Celebrity Wrap Up - Thursday Edition
Hello and welcome to Thursday's edition of Celebrity Wrap Up.
I had absolutely no idea that an Ace bandage could also be worn as a shoe. Interesting.
Looks like someone has a bit of static cling.
Gah! Cut out my eyes! Make the horror go away! Blech blech blech. How many ugly sticks was she hit by? 1,000?
Well, that's one way to recycle your Easter basket - make it into a dress. Why is Marc always wearing sunglasses at night? Does he think he's Carey Hart?
Ah, Amber Rose. So sweet, demure, and modest. Oh, wait. I was thinking about someone else. Obviously.
I had absolutely no idea that an Ace bandage could also be worn as a shoe. Interesting.Looks like someone has a bit of static cling.Gah! Cut out my eyes! Make the horror go away! Blech blech blech. How many ugly sticks was she hit by? 1,000?Well, that's one way to recycle your Easter basket - make it into a dress. Why is Marc always wearing sunglasses at night? Does he think he's Carey Hart?Ah, Amber Rose. So sweet, demure, and modest. Oh, wait. I was thinking about someone else. Obviously.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Everything I Know I Learned From TV
I think sometimes parents get a bad rap for letting their children watch too much TV. While I understand the need for socializing and playing outside (not just watching shows, playing video games, or being online), at the same time I know I wouldn't be the same person I am today without the lessons I learned from the early programming I watched as a child. Behold, a few of these lessons are listed below (in no particular order): 
Wonder Woman taught me how to be my own hero, as she was the coolest superhero ever. I also learned that you can do anything with gold bracelets, a gold belt, and some stars; invisible planes are the way to go; and boots are always a good accessory.
Three's Company taught me that misunderstandings happen a lot; older women are incredibly horny; dating sucks; and men and women can be friends/roommates. Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned from Three's Company was that trying to replace a main character with some sorry versions of cousins will never work and will ultimately doom the entire production.
Silver Spoons taught me that every house should have a train you could ride around on; video games in your house are the best things ever; and Ricky Schroder was the cutest boy on earth. 
Different Strokes taught me about adoption; spoiled rich girls; nosy maids; and annoying red headed step-brothers when they're trying to spruce up a series.
Alice taught me about waitressing; friendship; single parenthood; dating; and, most importantly, taught me the always useful phrase: "Kiss my grits!"
The Love Boat taught me that if you get in a fight at 15 past the hour, it should be resolved half an hour later. I also learned that ship doctors are very randy; people can be named after Gophers; and, again, that shows are never the same when they replace a beloved character. I still miss Julie.
Aside from the obvious lessons I learned from these shows, ultimately the best thing I took away from them was that The Electric Company (which was more "independent" of the two) was infinitely superior to Sesame Street.
The reason I was thinking about old TV shows was after seeing Tom Bosley (aka Mr. C) and Linda Lavin (aka Alice) on The Back-Up Plan the other day. Seeing them nearing 100 made me face my own mortality and made me a little bit sad.
The Little Rascals taught me that even if you form a club declaring you hate the opposite sex (like the He-Man-Women-Haters-Club), in the end love is going to find you; there's nothing quite like good friends; and you can respond to almost any question with O'tay!
Laverne and Shirley taught me that having your initial sewn onto every shirt was the coolest thing in the world; milk and pepsi can be a delightful drink; and dating sucks. 
Webster taught me that annoying little boys can get adopted, too.
The Muppet Show taught me about sarcasm (from the Old Men in the balcony); chasing boys is the way to go (like Miss Piggy and Kermit); and best of all, there are pigs in space.
Happy Days taught me that little sisters are annoying; Fonzie was the coolest person on the planet; you could turn on a jukebox by hitting it; you could get married over the phone; and there were people in the world named Pinky Tuscadero.
The Facts of Life taught me about friendship; tomboys; dating; and that handicapped people can be stand-up comedians.
H.R. Puf-n-stuff, The Bugaloo's, and Land of the Lost taught me that Sid and Marty Kroft were geniuses; sleestacks were the scariest things ever; and catchy theme songs will never leave your brain (as I type this I'm humming The Bugaloos song).
Laverne and Shirley taught me that having your initial sewn onto every shirt was the coolest thing in the world; milk and pepsi can be a delightful drink; and dating sucks. Webster taught me that annoying little boys can get adopted, too.The Muppet Show taught me about sarcasm (from the Old Men in the balcony); chasing boys is the way to go (like Miss Piggy and Kermit); and best of all, there are pigs in space.Happy Days taught me that little sisters are annoying; Fonzie was the coolest person on the planet; you could turn on a jukebox by hitting it; you could get married over the phone; and there were people in the world named Pinky Tuscadero.The Facts of Life taught me about friendship; tomboys; dating; and that handicapped people can be stand-up comedians.
H.R. Puf-n-stuff, The Bugaloo's, and Land of the Lost taught me that Sid and Marty Kroft were geniuses; sleestacks were the scariest things ever; and catchy theme songs will never leave your brain (as I type this I'm humming The Bugaloos song).The Brady Bunch taught me about step-families; dating; getting hit in the eye with a football; lost dogs; pool tournaments; that if you write your favorite celebrity (like Davy Jones), he'll come take you to a dance and kiss your cheek (is that where I got the celeb thing from?); Jesse James; and that if you wait long enough, Sam the Butcher will come around.
Different Strokes taught me about adoption; spoiled rich girls; nosy maids; and annoying red headed step-brothers when they're trying to spruce up a series.Alice taught me about waitressing; friendship; single parenthood; dating; and, most importantly, taught me the always useful phrase: "Kiss my grits!"The Love Boat taught me that if you get in a fight at 15 past the hour, it should be resolved half an hour later. I also learned that ship doctors are very randy; people can be named after Gophers; and, again, that shows are never the same when they replace a beloved character. I still miss Julie.
Aside from the obvious lessons I learned from these shows, ultimately the best thing I took away from them was that The Electric Company (which was more "independent" of the two) was infinitely superior to Sesame Street.
The reason I was thinking about old TV shows was after seeing Tom Bosley (aka Mr. C) and Linda Lavin (aka Alice) on The Back-Up Plan the other day. Seeing them nearing 100 made me face my own mortality and made me a little bit sad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)