Top Five LOL Cats of the Day

Please Use Your Inside Voice

Seriously, what is wrong with people these days? I swear they're not only stupid, but they also lack common courtesy (not to mention sense). The other day at the theater, we were surrounded by The Most Annoying People Ever - on both sides, no less. On one side, we had an elderly couple (why they were at Shrek in 3D I have no idea) who didn't realize that they were using their outside voices the entire time (especially to announce they had to go to the bathroom, which they did several times). I actually had to shush them, which I'm not anxious to do to people sitting right next to me. On the other side of us was a family who got up approximately 2, 729 times to get out of the row and then got mad that it started to be a bit of an annoyance. As an added bonus the girl would say, "I can't see" in her outside voice about a thousand times and the guy was texting half the movie. Um, really? Today at a meeting I had the Biggest Mouths sitting behind me talking the entire time. While I didn't really care if I heard what was going on, I didn't want to hear their yammering either. Why can't everyone just get a grip and learn how to speak in their inside voices? It's not hard; just stop annoying the rest of us. Thankyouverymuch.

And The Award Goes To....

Today I thought we'd have another round of an awards ceremony, as there are far too many things we need to discuss. And now I present the winners.... Congratulations to Kristin Davis for The Wonkiest Smile On The Red Carpet. Seriously, what is that face you're making?

Today's Biggest Douchebag award is presented to Joe Jonas (arguably the best looking one of The Jonai - although that's really not saying much. When they were born, the doctor slapped their mother). We've all heard how he dumped Taylor Swift by way of a twenty second phone call, which is already douche-y. Imagine my surprise to learn that he trumped himself in the sucky break-up category by having HIS FATHER call Demi Lovato and inform her that their relationship was over. That's rough. He should come with a warning sticker that in order to avoid pain and shame, never, ever get involved with a Jonai.

Edie Falco, I love ya, but I'm afraid you're winning the Never Go In Public Like That Again award. Seriously. Your face is giving me nightmares.

Congratulations going out to the unknown idiot who wins the White Trash award for displaying this sticker on the back of their car. For the life of me I cannot fathom why anyone would put an I love Strippers sticker on their car? Are they trying to beat Joe Jonas for Biggest Douchebag?

Last by not least, the award for Lowest Moment In Your Career is presented to Kim Cattrall for having to wear matching outfits with Miley Cyrus. That's a pretty big honor, considering she once played a mannequin that came to life.

Do You Think My Boss Will Buy It?

I'm pretty sure this excuse isn't going to get me out of work...but I really wish it did! I'm such a space case these days....I can't seem to focus on anything.

Celebrity Wrap Up - Wednesday Edition

Hello and welcome to Wednesday's edition of Celebrity Wrap Up. Why hello there, Matthew Morrison. Yes, I will run away with you. Pick me up at six?

And now modeling ancient Roman wear, may I present Lindsay the Greek?Juliette Binoche never gave up her dream of one day becoming a Solid Gold dancer.Is it me, or is this haircut a bit of a mis-step? You can't even see her eyes. I'd be forever moving the bangs out of my eyes. Ick.Well, that's one way you could use leftover carpet.

Top Five FAILS of the Day

Shrek Forever and After

I went to see Shrek Forever and After on Saturday - in 3-D even. As a big fan of the first three Shrek films, I was excited to see this last (? let's see if they stick to that plan) one of the series. Overall, I thought it was really cute, although I could've used a lot more of my favorite, the gingerbread man (he kills me). The cat was great, though. Too funny.

In other big news, I got some new Hello Kitty sheets. Aren't they the cutest things you've ever seen? Yep, that's what I thought.

Happy Birthday, Erin!

Today is my sister, Erin's, 35th birthday. 35?!?! How did that happen? Anyway, I just wanted to wish her a very happy birthday. I love you!

Yep, Still Lost

So, how many of you watched the Lost finale last night? I have to say - even after reading a plethora of reviews and recaps of the episode, I still have absolutely no idea what happened. It was a dream? Jack actually died to begin with? What happened to Hurley and the Man in Black? I don't have the faintest clue what it all meant. Perhaps the writers were just messing with us this whole time?

Celebrity Wrap Up - Tuesday Edition

Hello and welcome to Tuesday's edition of Celebrity Wrap Up. In case anyone was wondering where Kirsten Dunst has been, apparently she's been practicing black magic with Elvira.

Are Rachel Bilson's breasts doing some sort of performance? What's with all the drama?Not that I'd noticed, but apparently Grace Jones has been MIA lately. From her attire, it appears as though she's been off fighting crime.Man, Janet Jackson is just determined that everyone on earth gets a good view of her breasts, huh? Sweetie, gauze is not a fabric that hides anything. It is not your friend.

Oh, look - Naomi Campbell and J.Lo appear to be BFFs. WTF?!?! How did this happen? Wouldn't their personalities clash? Bizarre.

Love It!!!

Finally - my dream tattoo is completed! It's a merging of the logos of all three of my favorite bands: The Cure, Depeche Mode, and Duran Duran. I think it turned out SO great! I'm completely and totally in love with it. Thanks, AWOL tattoo!!!

Top Eight Postsecrets of the Day

One Day Until Ali!!!

Do you know what starts on Monday night? That's right - the new season of The Bachelorette! Now, I'm not exactly sure why Ali thought this picture would look best while she was naked, but no matter. Bring on the drama!

There's A Handbook?

Isn't it funny how you can be so objective when listening to someone else's love life, but can be completely blind to the follies of your own? The only time I feel able to do this with myself is if it's an ex-boyfriend, but even then I can be a bit delusional. Oh, wait. What? Delusional? Me? That can't be right.... Anyway, I had no idea there was a handbook! Who knew? I'll bet it has all the answers....although to be fair, my ex-boyfriends don't always follow the normal path. I mean, how could they? Every ex has his own torrid story and many are still around (ahem, neverending boyfriend). But, there's no love connection there - just friends. I really need to pick up this book - perhaps I could learn a thing or two?

Tig Notaro Rules

I met up with Vicki and some friends on Friday night to see the hysterical Tig Notaro perform at the Trolley Square Wiseguys. I'd never really heard of her before, but her YouTube clip was funny, so I figured I'd take a chance and check it out. I'm SO glad I did!!! Wow, what a funny lady. She got up there and took control of the audience like no other - she was great! I've been trying to replicate some of her act to describe how funny she was, but I'm afraid there's no way I could ever do her justice. Apparently she plays Officer Tig on the Sarah Silverman show, but I've never seen the show. After the show, she was selling shirts that said "No Moleste" outside. Awesome.