One year ago today (not that I'm counting....), AFMF and I broke up. Well, to be fair, AFMF broke up with me. As we all know, I had no part in that separation - if it were up to me, I'd be putting up with his sh*t for the next 50 years. I'd be an emotional mess, sure, but at least I'd have the "big prize," right? Wrong. I know, I know, he wasn't the big prize after all. He was a stepping stone and an aid to help me open up for the next one. Logically all of this 
One year later and I still don't feel totally like myself. Granted, I've made progress by leaps and bounds and I'm infinitely better....but I still feel he owns a piece of my heart. Perhaps he always will?
I'm moving on and looking forward and while it's true that I can't get through an entire day without thinking about him, I can get through an hour; I can get through half a day; I can go weeks without crying. Now, that's progress.
We may have viewed a similar outfit of Fergie's before, but check out those spiderweb pants! Those are the only leggings I'm ever going to approve of. Well, those and pink Hello Kitty leggings.
Let me get this straight: John Mayer isn't acting in a show or making a video? He ACTUALLY wore that ridiculous outfit to play tennis? Only one word comes to mind - Douchebag.
Jessica, sweetie, I don't think you were supposed to wear your Daisy Duke shorts OFF the set. If you can see where the pockets end, the shorts are TOO short. Oh, and we can see through your shirt. Just sayin'.
I was finally able to meet Vicki's boyfriend, Tony - aren't they adorable? Vicki and I worked at Sundance together a million years ago. It was fun to hang out at the event with her.
I'm starting to think I should make a WANTED poster to put in the window of every craft store within a 20 mile radius so that they won't even let me inside. Perhaps that would work? Or is there some sort of craft buying jail I can put myself in? I've already got an entire craft store in the Pink Palace - all things that seemed like brilliant ideas at the time, but have pretty much been sitting there for countless years on end. Glue guns, jewelry making supplies, a pottery wheel, paint, canvas, a sewing machine, and an array of papers, stamps, and wood projects are just a few things waiting to be played with in my house. Obviously I've got a serious problem. Crafters Anonymous, here I come.
Dear Future Boyfriend: Nice tux, but next time try to clean up your face a little beforehand, OK? Gerard Butler's already got dibs on the the "never shaving" thing. Plus, you're way too pretty to hide your face.
Dear Lucky-Bitch-Who-Sleeps-With-My-Husband-Bradley-Cooper: I'm starting to think you only have one dress in your closet and you just have it dyed for various occasions. Seriously, mix it up a bit, Renee. You're better than that.
Dear Weird-Looking-Gapped-Tooth-Guy-On-Gossip-Girl: Ooooh, shiny. Is it rubber? Does it bounce? Is Batman jealous? Did Lady Gaga jump you for the fabric?
Dear Hermione: While it's true that your dress is quite lovely, I think it would behoove you to remember that you're 12 (and yes, I know you're not *really* 12, but in my mind you are). I know you're in a hurry to grow up, but showing your beav to the world isn't a way to prove that you're grown.
In fourth grade, my favorite thing in the entire world was my school's monthly roller skating night at the local roller rink. Was there anything better than skating around and around in a circle in smelly, borrowed shoes? I think not. On one of these nights, they called out for a "Couple's Skate" and I bravely walked up to a boy and asked him to skate. His response? "With who?" (insert Pac-man dying sounds here).
Finally, and perhaps the most horrifying, was the time I was, once again, at a skating rink and thought I started my, um, you know. I was wigging. My mom wasn't there; I was wearing a mini-skirt; I didn't know what to do. Well, you see the problems here. Genius that I was, I put toiletpaper in my undies thinking I was super smart and solved the issue (which I'm fairly certain then fell out as I skated around the rink - classy). The only problem was that I hadn't actually started anything - I'd sat in a cherry slurpee. How does one mix that up with having your first, um, you know? (Why can't I say that out loud? I'm not a child).
Next on the list was American Virgin, which I put in my queue as an homage to the hilarious Rob Schneider who'll be coming to SLC in a few weeks. Surprisingly, this was a lot better than I expected. True, it's not going to win any awards, but overall I didn't hate it and was mildly entertained.
Finally, I saw the real gem in my viewing trio - The September Issue, which was a documentary about Anna Wintour and Vogue. I've never really been a Vogue follower, but I was completely enthralled in the background antics that go on when creating the monthly magazine. Anna Wintour was amazing to watch. The only thing that distracted me?
This horrid lady. Ugh. I can't even look at her without wanting to stab out my eyes. And (she claims) she used to be a model (?!?!?!?!). Granted, her photographs are amazing and she was interesting to listen to, I just never wanted to look at her make-up free pale face ever again.
Once the films were over, I settlee in for Glee (as I had to tape Lost and watch it later - I know, I know, people die. Boo.). My thoughts on last night's episode of Glee? Meh. It was kind of a snoozefest. Now, there were some redeeming parts (the impromptu performance in the library, Olivia-Newton John's video with Sue, and Sue talking with her sister at the end), but other than that....snore. I don't even mind saying it: I'm quite sick of Rachel. 
The black sheep of Big Bird's family died a sad and tortured death. To now be worn by ElizabethBankSienna Miller seems to add insult to injury.
How embarrassing. Instead of the ball gown Blake Lively meant to wear, she accidentally grabbed her figure skating outfit. Awkward.
Somewhere out there, Scarlett O'Hara is naked.
My real questions? How on earth did Harry Potter make the cut? Where's Ryan Phillipe? Where's Bradley Cooper? Why is Robert Downey, Jr. wearing a purple suit? Why is a vampire in the mix? Didn't Channing Tatum rise to fame for a dancing movie? NOT manly. The rest I'll probably allow, but I'd like to know who on earth compiled this bizarre-o list. I think some heads should roll.